To My Prince, On Your First Birthday

Dear Carter,

Today you are turning one. I can hardly believe it! I've been thinking for a while now that I wanted to write you a letter for your birthday. Trouble is I'm not sure I know how to tell you all the things I want you to know. It's really hard to find the right words. So, I'll try.

The details of the day you were born are still so clear to me. I hope they stay that way forever. I remember looking up at Daddy just as you were about to arrive. Our eyes met, both already filled with tears, because we knew we were just on the brink of the most defining moment of our lives. And it was, without a doubt. I was grateful, proud, filled with love, excited, relieved, and terrified all at once. And I have felt each of those emotions every single day since then.

Watching you grow and learn and seeing how you discover the world each day brings me more joy than you'll ever know. With each new milestone my heart overflows with pride. But I find myself a little sad, too, because I want you to stay a tiny, sweet little baby forever.

This past year you have taught me so much. I've learned what it's like to truly put someone before myself 100% of the time, without even a thought. Your momma is a lady that loves her sleep and doesn't usually want to give it up. Each time I would hear your little cry in the night, I knew someone needed me more than I needed my sleep. Knowing that, I'd give it all up a thousand times over. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, really. I now know what it is like to love in a completely selfless way, so thank you for teaching me that.

You've given me a million reasons to love your daddy more and more each day. Knowing how much that wonderful man would give up for you and me both, it's amazing. He works SO hard to provide for us, and he never thinks about himself. It's you and me, always. I can only hope and pray that you will be EXACTLY like your daddy. You are his pride and joy, and to see how each of you light up when you're around each other, I know you will forever have a special bond. I love how excited you get when he comes home from work. There was never a faster crawling baby than when you hear that garage door go up and Stormie bark. You head straight to the door, and are SO happy to see your daddy every time! That makes my heart burst with love for you both, and is definitely my favorite part of the day. No doubt Daddy's, too.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I can't wait to watch you learn how to play catch and go fishing with your daddy. I look forward to seeing you become a big brother one day, and watching your love for a sibling grow. Daddy and I can't wait to take you on vacations to all kinds of wonderful places. I wonder what you'll be like as a teenager and, even further out, a man. What hobbies will you have? What sports will you play? What will you chose as a career? And a wife?? Oh, how will I ever give you to another woman?! Will you have children of your own one day? What will be your best, most vivid childhood memories? So many wonders I have. And I can't wait to watch it all play out.

Even though Daddy doesn't know I'm writing this, I feel confident that I can speak for both of us when I tell you these things. You are the light in our life, the cutest, funniest, smartest, and most precious baby little boy in the whole wide world. Neither one of us would be complete if you hadn't come into our lives. I hope that today, and each day of your life, you know that no matter what you do or where you are in your life, Daddy and I will ALWAYS be here for whatever you need, and that you are loved unconditionally, forever.

Happy Birthday, little man. I love you so very much.

Love always,
Mommy