Well, today was the day Ella woke up to a bottle. Poor girl. Actually no, she handled that fine. Poor Mommy is really what I mean. There are definitely things about nursing that I'm happy to be done with, but having her completely weaned mostly just makes me sad. Eric and I were talking about it last night, and he said something like, "Well, try to look at the positive - she's onto the next phase in her life where she'll be more independent and grown up." Hunny. I love you. But you don't get me on this particular issue. At all. You see, that is precisely why it makes me sad. Those words exactly. Independent, grown up. She's not my little baby anymore. But thanks for the attempt at making me feel better about it. :)
With Carter, he caught me by surprise, and
weaned himself. I took that really hard. But I remember thinking at the time that it was probably for the best, because when it came right down to it, I felt like it might have been harder to nurse him for the last time, and KNOW it was going to be the last time. Well, I can now say that I was wrong about that. Sunday morning was it. I held her close and I kissed her head a whole lot and I thanked God for my little blessing, and for the blessing of being able to feed her myself for so long. And I may or may not have shed a few tiny little tears. But that's okay. I still think it was a teensy bit easier this time around knowing that would would be done after that. So there ya go, Eric. I'm looking at the positive. :)
I'll miss our snuggle time the most. And I'll miss comforting her when she's tired or upset. I hope she doesn't miss those things. I hope she doesn't know any difference between a bottle and nursing and being with her Momma. And I hope the 12+ months of nursing and the nutrients of breastmilk will give her a lifetime of benefits. I've always been very thankful that all things nursing came so easily to me and both of my babies (I use that term loosely because nursing can be freakin' hard at times!). The fact that I've never had to mix a bottle of formula for either one of my kids definitely makes me feel like I've accomplished the impossible. When she had her first bottle of whole milk last week, she was not at all pleased about it. She fought it so hard and cried and cried, and it broke my heart! But I'm happy to say that after a week of continuing to try it, she has finally taken to whole milk, so I think we'll be okay after all. :)
Now, I'm ready for our trip to Vegas next week. Yay for not having to haul my pump all over the Vegas strip!!
Love you, sweet Ella. You'll always be my baby.
