It's the eve of your 1st birthday, and I find myself sitting here wondering where the last year went. I really cannot believe we are already here. This time last year I was laid up in my bed feeling like I was about to die because my body hurt SO bad. Daddy, Carter and I had gone for a walk around the neighborhood. I think it was close to 2 miles - apparently just enough to send me into labor. Even though I felt so tired and so awful when I went to bed, I slept surprisingly well. I was woken up in the wee morning hours by contractions, and by 5am, we had packed our bags, got your brother up, loaded up the car, called the grandparents, and were on our way to the hospital in the dark. We were closing in on the last few hours before our lives were all blessed beyond measure again. As excited as I was, I was anxious. I was scared.
Before you were born, I wondered and worried about what it would be like to have another baby. The love we felt for your big brother was like nothing we had ever known before, and just how exactly would it be possible to love like that again? I knew it was possible. After all, every Mother on the face of the planet with 2 or more children had done it before me, so I KNEW it would happen. I just couldn't imagine how. And then you came into this world and I held you in my arms. And I felt it again, just as I had 2 1/2 years earlier. The love a parent has for their child is the greatest, most unconditional love there is. And when all of a sudden there is another baby to love, it's multiplied by 1,000. All over again. Amazingly. Miraculously. Effortlessly.
And that isn't even the best part.
And then. THEN I saw your brother. That little boy loved you totally and completely from the moment his little adorable face popped into our room as I held you in my arms. Then I got it. THIS is why it comes so naturally the second time around. The sibling. Watching that one - the one that made me a mother in the first place - watching him love you. That is what makes it so easy, so amazing. All that wondering and worrying I did, I should have just known. Leave it to my little boy, my first born, to teach me that lesson. And he does love you. I'll always remember his proud smile when he came to meet you, and the sweet tenderness he had with you. I'll always remember the way he sang you happy birthday on the day you were born, in his sweet little 2 1/2 year old voice. So, so special.
Before you were born, I wondered and worried about what it would be like to have another baby. The love we felt for your big brother was like nothing we had ever known before, and just how exactly would it be possible to love like that again? I knew it was possible. After all, every Mother on the face of the planet with 2 or more children had done it before me, so I KNEW it would happen. I just couldn't imagine how. And then you came into this world and I held you in my arms. And I felt it again, just as I had 2 1/2 years earlier. The love a parent has for their child is the greatest, most unconditional love there is. And when all of a sudden there is another baby to love, it's multiplied by 1,000. All over again. Amazingly. Miraculously. Effortlessly.
And that isn't even the best part.
And then. THEN I saw your brother. That little boy loved you totally and completely from the moment his little adorable face popped into our room as I held you in my arms. Then I got it. THIS is why it comes so naturally the second time around. The sibling. Watching that one - the one that made me a mother in the first place - watching him love you. That is what makes it so easy, so amazing. All that wondering and worrying I did, I should have just known. Leave it to my little boy, my first born, to teach me that lesson. And he does love you. I'll always remember his proud smile when he came to meet you, and the sweet tenderness he had with you. I'll always remember the way he sang you happy birthday on the day you were born, in his sweet little 2 1/2 year old voice. So, so special.
Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky. To be chosen to be your Momma, what a privilege. From the moment we found out you were a little girl, I had always said I hoped you would be just like me. I wanted a Momma's girl. I wanted you to look like me, act like me, all of it. And boy did I ever get that in you. You are my mini-me, and I love it! Even though you're my girl, Daddy does have a special place in your heart. And I expect that will only grow over the years. After all, he is pretty funny, and he gives the best zerberts! And as your mother, if you never take any other advise I give you, you have to trust me on this. Marry a man like him, Ella. You'll never once regret it, ever. And as for that big brother of yours, well you simply adore him. You watch his every move, you follow him, you want to play with his toys and what he has just because it's him and he's cool like that! I know you love him just as much as he loves you, it's written all over your face when you see him. I love watching your bond as siblings grow each day. As I said before. The sibling thing. That is a total added bonus the second time around. Amazing.
As we come to the close of your first year of life, and I look back on these last 365 days with you, I see that you're the perfect fit for our family. I know that God knew exactly what He was doing when he entrusted us with you. And I also look forward to the future with you. There is truly no greater joy in my life than to watch my kids learn and grow, and I'm very much looking forward to more of that with you.
Through tears I write this --- You are my jewel, baby girl, and I hope you always know that. Happy very 1st birthday. I love you more than you'll ever know!
Love always,
Mommy
Mommy
Beautifully written! Happy 1st to Ella!!!
ReplyDeleteSniff, sniff. Wipe, dab. You warned us. And Nana started the Birthday girls!
ReplyDelete